Our Right Pusue the Ridiculous: An Analysis of “The right to bear clubs”

           Everyday we turn on our televisions and are bombarded with commercials that advertise the greatest new invention that will make our lives exponentially easier.  In his column, “The right to bear clubs,” Dave Barry regales his readers of a new invention that will revolutionize the way we play golf. Following in the same pattern of his other columns, Barry utilizes hyperbole and satire in order to make the column enjoyable for his readers and keep them engaged. He appeals to pathos by sharing his personal golfing experiences and referring to influential names in history. Barry’s satirical fortitude acknowledges that while some causes are incredibly outrageous and useless to pursue, we as Americans have the precious right to proceed if we so choose.

            Barry appeals to pathos in order to build his credibility and gain the seriousness of the topic he is discussing. He can relate to the need for the “Ballistic Driver” because he “[loves] to [drive] the golf cart, saying the word ‘bogey’, and [stand] around the course, but hates to actually “[swing] the club at the stupid ball.” He relates himself to the topic by understanding the rationale for the production of this outrageous object. He understands the average American’s need to participate in the fight for a cause because he can relate to them. Barry suggests that we, just as the soldiers of the “Revolutionary War” and “the Minutepersons” of “Lexington,” must continue to revolutionize the country to fight for our rights and keep their legacy alive. By providing two historically significant battles Barry gives credible justification for American pride. Barry drive’s his main purpose for writing this column by presenting a case for the support of pretentious causes, as a right that we as Americans must protect. Pathos gives Barry credibility not only for himself but also for his main point.

            Barry’s use of hyperbole exaggerates the flagrancy of the Ballistic Driver and addresses its dangers. Barry predicts that “street gangs” could convert the clubs to “Fully Automatic mode” and terrorize “rival golf courses” in their “low-riding golf carts” and drive “hundreds of balls per minute in vicious ‘drive-by’ tee-offs.” Barry compares the issues between street gangs to that of politics between rivaling businesses and a fully automatic gun to a golf club. He expresses that our American citizenship reserves our rights to pursue an outlandish spectacle. Barry also creates the scenario that one morning we could “turn on the TV news [and] see Saddam Hussein wearing lime-green pants, standing next to a golf club the size of the Washington Monument” as he is about “to hit a massive chemical and/or biological Golf Ball Of Doom” onto the “fairway of middle America.” By mentioning that Saddam Hussein could be in the country and ready to blow it up with a golf ball, Barry creates an unrealistic scenario. Through the inflation of the implications of this powerful new golf club Barry expresses his view that the implications some political rights are exaggerated to an unbelievable extent.  By drastically amplifying the dangers of the Ballistic Driver, Barry expresses some political causes and reforms are unnecessary.

            Barry uses his classic satire to add sarcasm and make his serious boring topics more enjoyable for his readers and give them a good laugh. Barry asks his readers to agree with him that this “breakthrough” in new “technology” is a “great idea.” He rhetorically asks his audience to compliment the Ballistic Driver with boastful praise. Sarcasm and views on the importance that some Americans feel about causes are expressed through this rhetorical question. Barry explains that the Ballistic Driver could result in “‘drive-by’ tee offs.” His play on words compares the driving of a golf ball to a drive-by shooting. Barry achieves satire by using a humorous pun to tie in society. Sarcasm is a signature Barry has claimed to engage his audience and add flare to his writing.

            Barry recognizes that our rights as Americans are very precious and we will fight to the ends of the Earth to protect them. He writes about problems we face in America in order to relate to his readers. He asserts his views in the typical Dave Barry fashion through the use of humor and sarcasm. “The right to bear clubs” is an example of asserting our freedoms as Americans through speech.

Kill 'Em! Crush 'Em! Eat 'Em Raw! Questions

1. John McMurtry's essay begins with a personal anecdote about the results of playing sports especially football-since childhood. When he can no longer ignore his physical condittion he seeks treatment and is hospitilized. How does th anecdote lend credubility to his argument?
Answer: By opening with his own personal experiences, McMurty not only introduces his topic but confirms that he has authority to speak on the subject. This personal anecdote gains McMurtry credibility by making himself a part of the evidence that supports his argument. This story shows that, through his experiences, he knows the cause and effect of football related injuries.

2. Paragraphs 5-7 compare and contrast football and war. Is this comparison convincing? How does this comparison appeal to logos?
Answer: This comparison is convincing because McMurty gives many examples in different areas such as slang, history, principles, and practices in which they are similar. He supports this part of his argument well by prestenting integrated slang and metaphores. This comparision appeals to logos in that McMurty gives many very specific examples. Thus creating concreat evidence for his claim.

3. In paragraph 9 the tone shifts. How is the shift achieved? Explain how the shift mirrors a transition in McMurtry's argument.
Answer: McMurty shifts the tone by explaining how, as he made his way through organized footaball, "the game had been ruined" by the enforcement of rules and the overal goal. It was no longer about playing "in a spirit of reckless abandon and laughter" but a battle to see who could harm the other more. This mirrors in the transition of his argument in that at this point he starts to refute the game of football rather than praise it.

4. Who is McMurty's audience? Is it necessary for th ereader to understand or care about football in order to understand what McMurty is saying about society? Explain.
Answer: McMurty's does not have a particular audience. He is speaking to the general public. Though it would be helpful to know a bit about football in order understant the slang McMurty uses in the opening of his argument and the physical pain players endure it is not necessary to undersand his connection to society because he is talking about the brutality of the sport rather than specific rules.